Still learning

Why am I that complicated?
Why is it so hard for me to relax? To let go? To believe in myself?


There was this guy, pretty nice, a good friend, lovely eyes… I couldn’t face my fear of loosing our friendship! I haven’t even tried.
Well, he is still my friend and this strange feeling disappeared, but I always have a big smile on my lips when we talk!

He wasn’t the first! I am so chicken shit, always was and I’m afraid I will always be…


Another guy, another story, the same problems and lovely eyes too!!! I really prefer him as a friend only! The kind that’s a real partner for everything, especially to laugh… He is very funny!! But he would also be a good friend with benefits, as Alanis once told us. Unfortunately, my ability to blow things up is great! I have this amazing reaction, explosive… than I feel ashamed and simply can not let this feeling go away.

I’m still working on it…


Then I met mister perfect guy! McDreamy!!
Completely disaster!
I fight so badly against my will, my feelings for him. He is not supposed to know about it. Besides, I stimulate him to go for that other girl, the gorgeous one… someone I would never be, particularly for him. It hurts, but I can’t help doing it!!

I’ll keep trying to learn from my mistakes…